i really regret what i did.

maybe, rushing into something blindly like i always do will never help me like it did last time.
when will i ever learn?

i don't know...
i don't know what i mean to the people around me, so i act the way i do.
i'm learning.
i need to do it fast.

from now on, i won't act rashly.
i'll try to think carefully before i make any move.
even though it's not really my way, i don't want to repeat mistakes again and again.

if what i did to anyone reading this blog has made them feel angry, sad or pissed with me, then i sincerely apologise.

i need a guide to show me the right way.
i need to think before i talk.

_______

can you see this?
or are you gonna avoid me again?
i'm sry for wad i did, although you nvr liked me apologising.
i hope its not too late.
i...i nvr realised the effects of wad i did.
i nvr realised...what i actually am.
i acted in a way you didnt like, but i nvr stopped myself.
g_____ed, i can't find what i'm supposed to do to help you.
you love your freedom. i understand.
you can have your freedom, i'm just a bit worried.
i have become a nuisance, havent i?
no, i'm not emo.
i'm trying to think as clearly as possible.

g____ed, you rmb that you can fire me anytime.
i'm very grateful you havent.
i'm very grateful you saved me from my emo self.
i owe you so much more than i can pay you, more than words.
i rly do miss you, but who am i to control you.
i hope, you don't cry, because...
because everytime you cry, i've failed again.

g____ed, i won't ask you not to leave me.
i don't control you.
so...
forgive me for what i did.
i'll try not to worry too much about you.
don't worry about me as well.
but not caring for me is a bit too far if you're still my friend.
rmb wad 'dun care him lah' still means to me.

__________________________________________________________

i am the only thing i'll be.
serve with sarcasm, lameness and eat well before expiry date.
enjoy.