i changed blog.

haha. bye guys!

i spoil everything for you.

its over. i just cant take it.

everytime you're sad i cant do anyth to make it right.
i can only make you feel worse.
it feels horrible, as you see the person you like, who you say is impt to you slowly fade and crumble in unhappiness.
it feels like being stabbed.

i dont hate you at all.
but i wish i wouldnt be such a burden to you.

i really...
really...
really...

i really do like you. i still do.

but i'm no use to you anymore.

and i'm becoming a burden.

please don't think i hate you. i just don't want to trouble you.

it'll save my heart a bunch of sadness that i already feel.

did i lie to you?

"nth you say can make me sad, seriously."

did i make you unhappy?

"i don't like to explain myself, you know that."

is it wrong for me to just try to see how you're doing?

"nothing."

i really don't want to misunderstand you anymore.
the more i think about you the more i think bad.
so i guess i really have to go away...
i guess there's no choice.

thank you.

breaking news!
ne ws

lol.

you know, the split in our class has started. i wish it didnt have to be this way. hai.... don't you think we'd be better off as a class? why do, did we not try to rmb that each other existed? i'm not saying we have to accept their actions, but we have to accept their comments, when they tell us so.

i try to think about the rational of each group, but sometimes my mind fails me. explain to me the good about shouting in class like a monkey. you enjoy being an object of ridicule? i wouldnt want to see that. its no even entertaining, its disgusting. i just cant say it to your face. i try not to hurt ppl's feelings, though i know i'm bad at that.

you know that we both know we don't like each other. i dun like that part of you, and you dislike me for it. whats the use of it. just one time, think about what its like to be on other's shoes. call me an idealist, but i know this: each side has to give and take. if you dun give, i have nothing to take, and then i'll have nothing to give either. you, young lady, should know that. cos you're also a thinker.

you act like you don't know anyth. you dun wan this, dun wan that, but the way you act is different. totally different. you. walk the walk, since you can sing so well.

i don't have a grudge against you. i just dun like the way you avoid what we consider the trash of society. they can be useful, you know. why avoid them? my best friend's best friend isnt bad. its not like she's horrible. the real horrible ppl are the ppl who cause problems for others.

you, bloody flirt, although you seem to have cooled down a lot. if i'm right, you don't wanna be among them anymore. you have problems, dont you? despite being rich, having a girlfriend and everyth. you should move off.

you, although indebted to her should stand on your feet. you mande a bunch of bad choices in bad times. try keeping your cool next time? and arrogance is the folly of man. you, i think, should not think you're the only source of info about ppl. one can never know exactly how others fel unless they've been there, done that.

______________________________

you, i think, have many many flaws. there are still some i havent seen in you, its extremely hard to know wad you're thinking, so i still get a bit sad and confused. ._. no matter how much i miss you, i'll keep quiet as long as possible. i wish i had more advice to say, but i can't. i'm not worthy yet.

you are experiencing the frustration of seeing us split over what you think are little things. trust me, they dunno how you feel, and like wise the other way. nvm. its only a while.

i didnt cheat you, noob shit. watch it, its gonna happen. noob shit.

______________________________

no matter how much it sucks, eventually it will blow as well.
care to sit with me to watch as the sparks fly?

super bored at home.
plus, every time i think i get a headache of 5.0 on the richter scale.-.-

at least i dun have the swine flu.

you know, once you don't have something, you tend to miss it. a lot.
whether its something you always had but hated or got just for a while.

nah. i cant think much, i keep getting headache. this is super troublesome....

i'm not happy.

today feels so much, so much better.

thank you. :) really.
only you value me openly. even though you treat everyone that way, its special to me cos you say to me.

if you say to another person its special to that other.

haha. you're weird. but i wouldn't have it any other way. :))))))





i wonder. open conflict is nearing, and i'm sure to be caught in th cross fire.

why ah, must such things happen.

we used to be better. we've seen better days, lived through harder periods.
with fake ideas and unstable leadership. unworthy, actly.
we've been okay.
only cos we blind. and deaf.

goodbye, you that i knew so well.



it was nice when it lasted. i think.

i still wish it was nice.


i still wish i could hold on without breaking myself.

its my fault.

today i played a certain song on the guitar.

its been so long
since i played that song.

i couldn't help it that after playing it i almost cried.
cant help thinking about why i keep being so hard, stubborn and blunt.
why i like to ignore the feelings of others.
why?

you know the person you hate the most tends to be your own character.
no matter how i tried recently, i cant live without _ but i keep ignoring my own attempts to stop being such an offensive person.

great, send _ away after making up. i guess i wont try to make things better. cos once we do, things can only get worse. this time, i'll wait out the storm. i really need to. cos _'s the storm, i'm the thunder and wind.

today i stopped a girl from being attacked by a cockroach.


i wonder if chua spread th news around.

"eh ba, that girl not chio also. why you go touch."

wdh. welcome to my life.

every bond is precious.

every minute is gold.

every human is priceless.

every action will have a serious repercussion.

when will the sleeping wake?

only when the angered strike out from their fate?

when will the deaf open their covered ears?

when the sideless decide to rip their hands from their ears?

which person loves to be left out.

which girl loves to be defamed.

which guy cant sit still,

when the ppl he values are fighting?

think about it, you two.
think before it gets out of hand.

once it passes that,

we can never turn back.

and we will never be the same thing we once were.

every human is special.

some, no doubt, are more special than others. they are sought after and praised, regardless of good or evil.

some are even more special. nobody knows that they're good or evil, some even until now.

some are looked down on as the bane of society, nobody but a small few can see their worth.

what defines evil?

would you say robin hood was evil?
i would. because stealing is always wrong, regardless of reason.
it has never, will never be right.

would you say that jack the ripper was evil?
i wouldnt. he could have had a horrible, horrible, past that nobody knows. nobody cares. he hides it and never met that someone who can read him. or nobody bothered to. he could have been mentally sidelined.

was hitler evil?
no doubt he killed thousands, perscuted jews, bent christian laws, so on, but he had a terrible upbringing. it contributed to his ideas. could you say the society was evil?

what would happen if they met someone who could help them break out of this mental decline, we'll never know. it will never happen.

this post is meant for you, who reads my blog everytime like you say you do.

if i had met you 2yrs earlier, nothing would have changed.
i must understand that.

all the same, i want to slaughter that person who brought your image down.

c_-san isnt as bad as ppl say.
you have the society and upbringing to blame.

how you turn out, is up to you.

as long as i can, i swear i wont betray you.

what kind of person betrays his nakama? his closest friends, family who trust him?

i can no longer protect you like last time, and i don't think you'ld like it that way anymore.
i also need to stay away from problems for 4 months.

meaning,
i can only pray for you.

you say you'll be fine. sometimes, that might just be a lie.

to th rest of th ppl who might read this, think about what you did to the rest.
i'm not saying i'm clean.

i'm not pure,i deal my kind of damage to the world as well.

but i'm trying to fix that, and you guys should to.
equality is unattainable without cohesion.

cunning is just a tool of the wicked.
pushing the blame is just an extension of the cowardly mind.
looking down on other's decision is simply a fear of their real strength.

do you fear us, the lowest of the low?