what is love?
is it just a blind feeling?
is it a feeling of wanting to be together forever?
if it is to me, i'm a blind man.
blinded by his greed.

ms guarded is so nice to me, i cannot breach her trust.
wo bu neng ai ni.
don't worry,
wo bu hui shuo pian ren de hua.
i won't love you.

at the same time i can feel the tearing feeling inside me when i know i've been rejected.
i want attention, i'm ashamed to say that.
that people will come to me and say
"eh ba, you did well."
"wah pro, not bad"
"you helped me, thanks! (:"
"you've been a good friend."
"you're too nice."

instead of

"i don't trust you."
"what the fuck are you doing?"
"do you think that i'm stupid?"

its a simple wish thats difficult to fulfill,
who am i to tell ppl wad to do if i cant do stuff myself.
watashiwa baka.
wo shi ben dan.

i'm falling back into that time period.
its so dark.

some body save me...............
i just dont wanna fall and die.
i hear your voice beside me, so
save me...
i'm standing still
on the edge of this precipice
save me,
pull me back before its too late,
save me,
do i mean enough to you guys
to be worth your time?(save me)
am i lame so much so,
you cant see me like your blind(save me)
am i just a useless person
that you guys dunwanna see(save me)
save me,
from myself.




good bye(sayonara)(zai jian)(selamat tinggal)(good bye in tamil)(good bye in arabic)

when i wake up i'll be either fine or dead.

or neither.

congratulations,
your first step has been made.
anyth you do next affects the end result, nezumi-kun.
lets hope its for the best.

its a bit strange i'm doing this, but i'm resting up with another 12 mins to go to start work.
(its 21.18 now)
i better hurry.

today went past like lightning, with most of the time concentrated during a fun mt and ss lesson, with mr kamal's great speech.
so sad, i belong to all 4 of his groups of unsuccessful students. watch me, i'll be in his cat5 by the end of this term and stay there.

lol, now i got 2 ppl to take care of me. (thanks gwendy-jie and nezumi-kun!!!)
i hope i'll be fine. although one more person i wanted dunwan help me, i guess thats ok. haha.
cant push all the jobs to everyone else, right?

i have no r/ship probs right now, but i keep busying myself with others ones. recipe for disaster... but thats fine, i know i'm reliable and strong. no matter who or waht taupoks me i'll be able to get up. i hope all of them turn out fine at the end.

miss guarded, you're blog is so easy to see through yet so difficult to know who you're targetting. lol, it was always that way for me, but he who knows should be able to do a better analysis than me. analysing you in person is more fun now, lol.

i'll end this post with this quote:

LOOK BEFORE YOU ZIP.

thank you very much.

its not rly what you get in return but what you give.
i choose to give you myself, until someone comes to claim me.

went out with chua today, shld rly go someplace noisier if we're gna talk-.-
still have a lot of hw not done, so...
i'm screwed.

anw, i realised the importance of realising things before they happen.
like the malay proverb, hit the wall then you get stunned.
so i'll start to think more, move slower and control myself more from now.

returning to my job just to keep you happy?
who am i kidding.
i'll nvr be able to do that.
we're not the same anymore.
i just dunwanna see yr stone face.

your r/ship problem is gna get complicated if you dun snap out of it.
what the hell are you doing?
stay or leave, its your choice.
you have to break someone's heart.
its whether you do it gently or like shirley did to me.
its your choice.

you, still chasing the girl you want.
you know you got no chance, still you do it.
unconditional love dont work anymore,
especially when she's not looking at you...
wake up noob.

as different as two ppl can think.

my legs are injured again...
i dunno wad to do with them.
seriously, it limits my movements.
i cant do so much things.
it rly makes me think more about what i can do, and things that i dont do when i'm supposed to do with them.

you're different compared to me.
i prefer to think as everyth as different, not weird.
do wad you want to him, it shouldnt be my problem. i hope.

com died

i dun think i'll be posting for very long after this, com spoil.-.-

firstly, i would like to tell myself to work harder, or i will be wearing more than one reminder on my hand.

secondly, i nida focus.

thirdly, i should run baby run until my 2,4 timing becomes faster.

and anw, i feel kinda pissed cos i coulda got a top 20 position if only i held on and kept running. wah... wasted.

bowling with 4/4 was fun, but... i got a feeling that its the last time we'll go out as a class.
pray that i'm wrong.

_________________________________________________________________
i wanna say, i know i'm irritating.
i know i try to be things i cant be.
maybe i've changed a lot, but i expected that.
we've become a bit distant, but thats normal.

you feel very empty nowadays, but you're okay.
i'm disappointed to say, either i cant understand you or i refuse to accept wad i think of you.
we were never meant to be partners, anyway.

i wish that...
i wish that you are happy, but...
in my heart, i wanna stay with you.

hi.

school hasnt been as fun as last year :/

i realised that i sec 4 life ain't a bed of roses anymore,
and thats a bit irritating.

i havent been having much problems lately, just the usual homework stuff-.-
plus i just need to step up practice so i dun make so many careless mistakes.

anw, cca also needs some restructuring, its gonna take a while...

there's not many things that i find good these days.
tell me, why am i so worried?
when i'm not supposed to be responsible for you?

i just don't know...
in my mind, i'm trying to reach out for two things.
two things that are exactly opposite.
i cant reach them, and my body will tear into two.

i dunno why i still find myself caring alot about you.
maybe, thats the effect of being too close to your friends,
when you wanna run away your heart pulls your back.

i need to find away to stop running away but still get what i need.
save me, save you, save her...
save your work so you don't lose it-.-