last time when we were equals i could tell every sad thing in my heart to you.
now you dont seem to care.

you say you would miss me, but do you really.
i never see such an emotion unless you think of him.

i've been protecting you for a year and a bit, and you said thanks.
and this is where it ends.

its useless waiting on you.
you never move on.
you never really try.
everything you want to be push started.
always passive.
always waiting.
everything is served to you on a silver plate. or maybe wdv plate you like.

i feel like i'm being treated like a used shirt.
you and j make me do menial stuff sometimes, just cos i usually dun mind.
i just wanna be acknowledged by you.
you seem so high, so up there.
i can never each your rank.
and i know if i do the fall wont kill me, the landing will.

at this point, i wna scold so many vulgarities, i'd be thrown to hell.
so i wont. i dun wanna go to hell.
so what if i'm young.
you dont understand me.
you are the one who never will.
no matter how easy it is for me to read you.
no matter what i do for you.
you will never understand what it is that i feel.
never understand when the person you love so much never does a lot, never really cares, is always out of reach, never seems to be there,
when the person you rely on for emotional support is as weak as a taugeh, whenever you try to talk it feels as if you're talking to a person who wont get what you say.

i keep trying.
but in the end its all up to you.

move on, you (incomplete sentence)
it hurts whether i stay or i go.
you are a double edged sword.
go ahead and cut me into half.

i'm sure i'll survive, i cant get any crazier than i can.
huh.
i cant laugh. i cant cry.
fuck this msn face of mine.

I'LL BE ALRIGHT
NO MATTER WHAT
I WONT BREAK THE PROMISE I MADE TO MY GUARDED

WAKE UP

what am i doing now
laming

missing you

i just wna turn back time

but for wad

everyth happens for a reason

what do i mean to you

you owe me big time, my son

8A1

3/13

congratulations

nice one ba

yo ba

happy birthday

you'll know when you see it

why choose me

she will never like me

she loves another guy

i don't wanna lead you on

ba do you like su xian

are you two gay partners

everyth do together

fuck you, loser

why do you like shirley

forgive everyone

buy powder for mdm hee

why do you do this to him

dont tell anyone else what i think of tamaryn

stay

sean turn down your music volume

who should i choose

shut up loser

what the fuck

sean is gay

but i'm the one who did it, vivian

your handwriting remind's me of someone i hate

wear uniform first then we can go eat slowly aaaaah

lets go tb

i wna show you something nice

how long will they talk

very long

i walk backwards cos my legs pain

your a big boy now

i treat you as an adult

dont you get what i'm saying

your a favorite student of mine

are you two willing to do this job

people buy food

ba dun lame

how can you kick me out for a girl koon ming

send me that song leh

free period whooo

you think only you got such a sad story

life is a masquerade

shes participating in speech day

well she can go to hell i hate her

dont be like me

kiss my ass

i'm so sad

sean whats wrong

chua give up

i'm sorry yong jia

dont give up celine

live on, gwendy

dont hate me suxian

gws xiu hui

sing well indu

laugh, geraldine

play on, gabriel

hide and run, joe wei

dun racist yeowpeng

thanks, shiyu and yahui

haha, suhui

grow taller, yinshern

take care, kavin

look arvind

feel prashan

relax imran

chill out alvin

wassup vivegan

grow up shihui

be careful syafiq

dont be rude hilmie

smile smile J

hi sarah

yo yo syazwan

win everyth zul

lame lah ryofred

goal aravind

man u shafeeq

concentrate zaff

congrats syafinah

think farah

arigatou angie chan

thank you mdm hee mr esfan mdm asnah mr poh mrs sin mr chye mrs poh mrs koh mr ang mr singh ms ho ms kam ms yap mr leow and all the teachers who have taught me

oh and fuck you shirley but thanks for nothing

goodbye world

miss me

i might not return

speech day today.

i came sch to see other people get prizes, and it made me think.
about what i really am.

i didnt really listen to all that they said...
but i guess, i realised that,

i can never be one of them.

one of the high gang, one of the people who continually try to chase happiness.

its like, the more you want it, the more you cant get it.

i'm happy with my taizetsu no nakama alrd,
with ms guarded, nezumi, chua, yongji,how, etc.

its not worth it.
i should really continue to concentrate, to wake up and move on all the way,
instead of slacking behind, or acting like i'm smart.
i'm more than a match for them.

to me, next year i'll be the one to give anderson something.

WATCH ME.
lol.

i just cant leave you alone.

until now.

its time to move away.

originally, i wanted to rant.

but before that a nakama made me smile, with something she said.
thanks a lot, ms guarded. you made me smile when my heart was dark from frowning.

back to the rant.



tell you guys th truth.
i'm DISAPPOINTED.

my mind is screwed up.
no, dun screw it down.

where are you?

why do i feel tied to you?

like i cant, like i dunwan to let you go?

i need to open this hand and set my thoughts free.

because everything i think about is about you.

today, is just a past tmr and a future yesterday.
today was okay.
tmr will be okayer.

i hope.

today will be a long day.
today will be better than yesterday.

i'm looking forward to tomorrow and smiling at yesterday,
but what about today?

it was a loooooooooooooooooooong day.
in the afternon it rained for a loooooooooooooooooooong time.
i slept for a loooooooooooooooooooong hour and a half.
i woke up and got a loooooooooooooooooooong scolding.
and i did ss. for a loooooooooooooooooooong time.

time do do other hw.

when you have so many things to say but cant link them together...
how do you say it?

i have things i wanna say to people out there.
not all of them is good,
but not all of them is bad either.

my taizetsu no nakama are already breaking up.
ms guarded, only got you left thats in a proper condition.
the rest are emo, drowning in sorrow or pissed with some dick(quoted).

i really wanna be able to write something beautiful.
that makes ppl cry, or think when they read it.
its a bit of a hobby...
but i really like thinking like that.

every human will lose something he has sooner or later.
say goodbye to him for me, you two have passed the point of no return.

2 weeks.

wad shit am i doing?-.-

its a wake up call.

i think i needa stop wasting my time.

wasting time, chasing cars.

if i lay here,

if i just lay here,

would you lie with me,

and just forget the world.

forget what we're told.

i'm already too old,

i'm going to study,

so just talk to my hand.

(hay guise)

zui ben dan de ren.

yo.

the emo me is back, but i'm still quite balanced.

i dun rly have much to say except to those who i have things to say to.
here goes..

you!what the hell are you doing!!!! why become like me!!!
is it that my life and my experience is someth ppl must eventually go through?
why at sec4?!!! why nvr earlier!!!! wake up, you noob you want die isit.
our prelims in 2-3 months, maybe shorter.
still you emoing away.



hey you, just rmb that i'm always waiting to catch you but i'm never ready.
especially not now, please, please don't fall right now...
i'm not ready...